


a few steps forward

by cecilia095



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: But That's Why We Fic, Canon-ish, F/M, What Should've Happened At The End Of 21x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23932894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilia095/pseuds/cecilia095
Summary: Carisidoestake Rollins up on that offer for a drink — or three.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins
Comments: 9
Kudos: 107





	a few steps forward

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever "SVU" fic. I don't really know what this is, just a little something I wrote up after 21x20 aired. I'm definitely nervous to publish it because I don't exactly feel like I've nailed either of their voices yet, but... here it is.
> 
> Also... did anyone else think Rollins was walking closer to Carisi's desk in that scene b/c she was gonna kiss him or is that just my naive ass?
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Let me know if you do. :)

“So... a sitter, huh?” He holds the door to his office open for her and she shifts past him, her blouse tickling the sleeve of his shirt for a second. It’s the most he’s touched anyone in weeks — months? This trial is going to be the death of him, he thinks.  
  
“When’s the last time you and I celebrated over dirty martinis?”, she teases, and even in the dark hallway, he can't help but notice how good she looks tonight. 

(Okay, she always looks _good_ , but tonight...)  
  
“ _You_ celebrate with dirty martinis,” he says pointedly, “I’m a white wine guy. Wait... what are we celebratin’ anyway?”  
  
Amanda pauses, and he’s an expert on Rollins Facial Expressions, by now. This one looks almost... guilty? She probably feels shitty about pulling him away from his work; but then he remembers she’s _Rollins_ , and by the end of the night she’ll insist he owes her a ‘thank you’ for the drinks being a much-needed distraction in the middle of all of this bullshit. He gulps when he thinks about the Davies files still sitting, unfinished, on his desk, but he's almost not sorry for saying yes to the drinks right now, even if The Morally Sound Dominick Carisi shouldn't have.  
  
“I... Liv promoted me,” she says quickly. He gets the guilty look now — she’s rising, and he’s... well... this trial is really killing him. So is being an ADA, sometimes. It's a big shift, and it's hard to shut up the voice in his head that sometimes asks him what the hell he's even trying to convince himself he's cut out for this for. If any one person knows about that internal battle, it's Amanda, even if she's never acknowledged it out loud before.

“Second Grade Detective, _finally_.”  
  
He doesn’t know another way to congratulate her than to hug her, so he does. It’s gentler than he means for it to be, and he keeps his head tucked into her neck when he mumbles a, “Wow. Congrats, Rollins. I really am happy for ‘ya.”  
  
A few seconds pass, and she pulls out of the hug first. “Hey. Let’s go get those drinks, huh?”  
  
.....  
  
The bar is too dark for him to really look at her — the way he’d like to look at her, at least. He notices the way she’s running a hand through her now-tousled blonde locks, and she slowly sips her first martini quietly, looking all around the crowded bar more than she’s looking at him. For someone who begged him to join her for these drinks, she's not saying much.

He clears his throat. "I-I was surprised when you dropped by the office," he admits, taking a sip of his own drink and pressing his lips together.

"Why?" She's cheekily running a finger over the rim of her glass. "We're friends, Dominick. I'm not allowed to come check on you?"

 _Dominick_. When's the last time she's called him...

He stays quiet.

"You've had the week from hell, I've been playing Mom to a runaway teen who doesn't see an issue that she's sharing her cocaine with strange men in their mid-thirties —"

"Wait, _what_?"

"Ivy Bucci. Frank's kid. She's a train wreck, but for some reason I can't let it go."

Sonny squints and lets out a muffled laugh. "You gettin' a head start on preparing for Jesse and Billie's teen years?"

She just laughs and shakes her head quietly, but he can tell that it scares her a little bit, even _thinking_ about that.

"You're doin' the right thing — even if that son of a bitch doesn't deserve it." He's cursed Frank Bucci more times than he can count for doing what he did to Rollins; for how much it actually shook her up, even if she pretended it mostly didn't, but they're past talking about that chapter.

"Hey, hey. I'm not doing it for _Frank_ , I'm doing it for Ivy. She deserves a chance, and everyone else has given up on her. I-I couldn't."

"You do get pretty attached to certain cases...", he teases, taking another, longer sip of his drink.

Amanda cocks a brow at him and says, " _Me_? You have stomach ulcers over Sir Toby Moore, Carisi."

His eyes widen at her. "Hey, stop lookin' in my desk when you come by!"

"Pepto is bright pink, and it was _right there_." Her tongue's between her teeth now, and her cheeks are flushed even though she's only one drink in. He tries not to stare at her for too long. "Look, if you - if you're strugglin', I'm here."

"I can't just... throw all of my crap at you, Rollins. It's not fair. You've got... y'know... a life, _kids_. Better things to do than —"

"Worry about you?", she cuts him off. "Look, all I'm saying is, you've done it before; come over, make spaghetti for the kids and me, sit down at my kitchen table and _bitch_ for a little bit. It's okay, Sonny."

"Honestly...", he sighs, setting down his glass farther away from him than it had been, almost like he can't take another sip. "I knew I'd be bad company tonight, I'm sorry. Lemme pay the tab and we'll go."

She looks disappointed, but only for a second, and then she's running a thumb over his knuckles, and he doesn't want to make a big deal about it. He just gulps and looks down at their hands, away from her. "Figured I'd try, but maybe drinks don't heal _every thing_."

He's laughing now. "Ya think? Hey, listen, if - Why don't we stop by your place, relieve your sitter, and just talk there instead."

It comes out less like a suggestion and more like a plan, but Amanda softly says, "Sure", in a voice that's a little unlike hers. "Let's go there."

.....

The sitter, Sienna, leaves, tells Amanda that both Billie and Jesse are asleep — Billie with less of a fight, but Jesse's finally in bed, too.

Amanda thanks her, walks her to the door, and then shuts it behind them. "Want a drink? There's... Water, or... I think water's all I've got. Unless you're itchin' to try formula. I haven't been grocery shopping all week."

 _Typical_ , he thinks, but he just shrugs and waits for her to sit down on the couch until he joins her.

She kicks off her shoes, takes a ponytail off of the coffee table and throws her hair all the way up, and he silently thinks to himself how much he likes _this_ Amanda. Sitter, see-through-black-blouse, straight hair, _maybe three_ drinks Amanda is just fine, but this... this is the one he needs tonight.

"So...", she says breathily, lifting her neck up to peek down the hallway, to make sure no little footsteps are padding down it looking for their mama. "Start from the beginning." 


End file.
